How STUPID am I...
Thursday, December 25, 2014
@3:36 AM
Assalamualaikum...
Ohayo gozaimasu.
I really wanted to write this post since I got my PT3 result. I know I dah tekad tak nak nangis sebab I though like this " kalau PT3 teruk pon bukan salah aku..semua orag pon akan teruk. Buat apa nak risau" . I know that's a stupidity of mine. I know i shouldn't do that. I must pray. Pray to Allah. Why would got into me actually? Is it anime and otaku things fault or myself that always show my stupidity every single time?
I know my english is VERY VERY bad and that can't doubt it i WOULDN'T get A. My highest target is 10As of course I don't know what to do with it and all I do are read more English thing and anything relate to it and keep practicing speak and write in english as I do in my blog right now.
I'm still feeling bad. I know i couldn't do it but I REALLY want to kill myself right now and disappear from this world for a while. Well hope everyone will hate Fara and love Yuki. Fara is more like dumb ppl and I hate her. Yes I love Yuki. I know and maybe ya dont know about me, I have 2 SOULS inside me. Yeah. I hate being Fara. Fara will shitting everything. Yuki is better. Please... Understand me JUST once.
Fara is more like suka cakap besar...She is so arrogant. She knows math and of course a Math expert but only when she forgot herself she will drift with syaithon nirrojim..Astaghfurullahalazim. I should fix my relationship between Allah and me. Ya Allah, please forgive your servant for my behavior and anything bad that I did before. I'm really got my eyes open with this.
so..since now...I'll use Fara just for fun and Yuki...only for otaku mood. I'll create my third soul. She will be nerd, shy, conceal , suppression behave ,use her energy only when she need it and not too hyper. But...I know. Sometimes I'll be myself by merge those souls . Yeah..All the souls are part of me right? Those personalities...
What else I hate about Fara is...yeas the cakap besar one was already mention in there. She likes to struggle and I like that but I really hate when she does her works sambil lewa. I was like " DEYHHH WADAFF you goyang kaki ha?".. Then tengok lah hasil PT3. Why am I got THESE sheyts ?! It because of that lewa-lewa things la. Kata semua orang akan Fail. Bodoh kau Fara. Look at all your friends, they can got 4As and above why did you can't? WHY DID YOU CAN"T ?!! Now I realize that I'm so stupid because of myself. Why those words suddenly came of my mouth? WHY?! I really wanted to cry but I cant and it's all that promise I made. I said I promise I wouldnt cry because of these pt3 things. waddaff Fara. WAKE UP. Look at your sekai. It's dark now. You should open your eyes and be the light of yerself . I know you regret because all of this thing but ya shouldnt give up like that. Yeah.. I know. I know that I wouldnt get anything from this even I regret of this. I'm so sad because I couldnt help myself. How cruel am I being Fara on ya. I really sorry. Really REALLY REALLY SORRY. I dont know what to do. I dont even want to face my successful friends and classmates. All of these are fear came from my STUPIDITY.
I know someone will read this stupid post and you will kutuk me like "tu lah dulu orang suruh blajar main je tau" or "anime la, arino mama no lah. thats your fault" or maybe " tu la suka sangat belagak, over lah semua lah. Buat itu dapat lah itu" and sure I'll get this "Bukan nak kutuk ke apa tapi padah diri sendiri lah.. I tak tau I dah tegur you you yang tanak dengar.." . Okyh I'm not going to e like that anymore but first, I DID
STRUGGLED IN MY EXAM. Second one is I KNOW I LOVE ANIME AND JAPANESE STUFF SO MUCH SO
DON'T BLAME ANIME AND PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME. Third, I YOU DON'T
KNOW ME, PLEASE
SHUT YOU MOUTH. . . Yeah maybe some of ya don't understand me because ya dun really know THE REAL me.
I know I have a very very very very INTELLIGENT brain but I'm too stupid to use it. How stupid can I be? more...or much more...
ahaha..
aha..
I really stupid.
Fara, Dec 25th.
Labels: life