Happy eid.. I love you guys!
Saturday, May 23, 2020 @3:54 AM
Saturday, May 23, 2020 @3:54 AM
Assalamualaikum.
Here am I again. weee tomorrow will last day of Puasa so before I'm completely gone. I need to write this to all of you.
1st of all, I know u are really rly tired of me especially when it comes to read my rant. It's mixture of my two persona you see. I want to apologize on behalf of me that keep deny everything you guys pour on me.
It feels like I dun being grateful for having you all as my friends because you guys rly care abt me and love me. hehe I love you guys too. If you feel helpless to help me just let me be, I swear I will be fine soon. I promised but one thing I can't rly promise is to keep me in gud condition. I might return with a wonderful feeling freedom from any serabut stuffs but the effect will see I injured there and here.. or my body and health might not in gud condition. but please believe me I will be fine. You love me right? please believe me as I pour all my trust on you who r reading this.
I'm here actually to apologize that i opened up myself too much for you to accept the whole me. Im sorry that I let you enter my barrier, and let you see the ugly me. yeah as you can see me behind those positive bubbles that surround me, Im disgusting. Mood wrecker. I a shit. I a bad person. Im aware that I'm also a human. I did wrong. You did too and we all did. But im okay with that because the one who read this is a really wonderful person in my life ^^
and the thing right now. I just wanna tell you that I gave up to fix my persona problem. I've seen a few people dun rly comfortable when i started to express my feelings or when i talk to my another persona. I'm actually just okay. It's okay, and I will stop open up to anyone. not anymore. I will stay silent as long Everyone's happy. If you happy, then Im gonna be happy too! xD I...try. yeah Im trying.
I'm sorry for sometime i accidentally ignore you for no reason. Im sorry for not noticing u r in needing help, Im sorry i turn u down, Im sorry i didnt notice that i act like i'm alone have a problem. I strongly agreed that we all have problem. If you need me just tell me. but with this ugly side of me, its okay if you stop looking for me. I know who I am. I accept who I am. I know thing is becoming worst time to time. Its okay I tryto cope with it... slowly... inshaAllah...
but hey I won't forget these beautiful words that you never bored to send it to me...
(I hope so..)
"We are worry about you..."
"we r sorry, we just don't know what to do..."
"we care for you, please be safe..."
"we all love you whoever you are..."
"we accept whatever you are..."
Thank you for ur never ending love, care and everything...
I'm so sorry if my words always hurtful for u to handle it. I'm sorry for always turn you to a worry-wrath, Im sorry I deny every love u gave me, Im sorry I dun take ur care that you gave me seriously as if it is just a word. Im sorry I didnt let you know whether im ok or not.
it just... i dun wanna make you all worry about me. I hate when people worry about me Im so sorry.
I just wanna you to be happy without thinking about me. I dun wanna you be sad because of me. please dun be sad. I will be sad to if you do.
please dun mind about me so much. I such a burden if you care about me too much just please.. don't take any risk to hurt your feeling. I care about you . I wanna everyone to be happy. without any worry, without u to scold me for being reckless, without you to feel complicated about me and without u being sad seeing me like this...
hehe uh.. im so sorry, this is super awkward. uhm..
just remember if you happy, then i will be happy.
I wanna type more but my body seems like they protest to do so for no reason. I... need to go. see you when I see you. Im sorry for everything.
pm me ur bank acc if u wanna duit raya bcoz im open rn hehe... xD
Fara, 30 Ramadhan 2020
Labels: life
○ Name: Hyouku Yukirasaki " there was only water before ices and snow " 
Fara... :)